It’s a tool,” the naysayer said.

The topic of online dating came up in cocktails last night with a group of people.  An online date naysayer in the group chimed in,  “I would never do that.  It’s not natural to meet someone that way.  The only people on those sites are liars and scammers. Blah, blah, blah,”  she went on.  Granted, she had a couple glasses of  Beaujolais.

Once she was done with her babbling, my friend told her about my site.  “It sounds like Yelp for online dating,” she said.  “Yes,” I said.  I’ve heard that before and I don’t like it, even though that’s kind of what it’s like.  But then she said something that just sounded right on.  She said, “It’s a tool.”   Then we changed subjects and I had to listen to how the young guy she is seeing and I quote, “Probes every inch, every inch(she raised her index finger) of my body with his tongue.”  She’s a classy gal.

Anyway, I kept thinking about what she said about the site being a tool.  It is a tool.  A tool to stop time wasters and liars.  A liar like the guy in this blog post.  (Thank you CHELLYKAY:)  This is the kind of guy that needs to be reviewed so he won’t waste another girl’s time.  Yes, he could delete his profile and make another one.  So what.  Now HE is inconvenienced.  When he lies on his new profile, it will get reviewed and he will have to delete it and HE will be inconvenienced again.  Then maybe he’ll stop online dating or he’ll actually become honest on his profile.  Either way, it’s win win for the girls that are actually trying to meet someone and gain a meaningful relationship from one these sites.   And guys, it’s not just you.  I’ve heard a ton of horror stories from men about the women on dating sites as well.

Sorry for my rant.  But it’s time for the honest online daters to take back the sites that we’re on!  Who’s with me?

Why do I already feel like Jerry Maguire walking through the hotel lobby after everyone read his mission statement…

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4 thoughts on “It’s a tool,” the naysayer said.

  1. I’ve met up with guys off of pof, and they have told me some of the most outrageous stories. I’ve never experienced anything too crazy, and I’ve met a good handful of people, but they would tell stories about how a fantastic date with a beautiful woman ended in her trying to get him to join in on a threesome with her husband.. What? We could laugh about it over drinks but it must have been shocking/depressing/upsetting for the guy at the time.

    I like the idea of holding people accountable. But I worry that an angry individual might use this to hurt someone. It’s a buzz topic right now… online bullying.

    The rule that no names are to be used, offers some security here, but what if a username is linked to someone for various online accounts from youtube, to aim, to yahoo? I’m a bit smarter about my username choices in life, as I’m very aware of how influential an online reputation can be nowadays.. but some people might not be aware that their username entered into google can bring up a whole host of information. I googled one of my favorites and found my old photobucket, my youtube, hell.. even my sparkpeople page. Pictures came up including one of my ex-boyfriend.. what? Anyway I have some clean-up homework to do now haha

    I would be worried for instance if say a guy really liked me, and I’m just not that into it. What if he gets online and starts trash talking? Is there a solution for these types of discrepancies? I’m sure it has come up in conversation between you and your partner, and your IP attorney? I think it’s a valid discussion to have in a blog posting 🙂

    I think it’s a really fun idea– and I could see a lot of good coming of it… I could also see friends and I huddled over the computer in the event that we were to find a review of one of our dates– the drama!! It’s appealing And the website design– really nice graphics.

  2. DNB, thank you for the wonderful comment. You put some time into it. I appreciate that.

    I’m going to take some of what you wrote and put it on the Question Forum page. I’m trying to get it going and you’ve posed some very good questions.

  3. I feel similarly to Danielle. I very much appreciate the offer, but I try to be very careful about the things I say about others online. I’m happy to review dates to friends–with identifying information–to trusted friends and family, but I don’t feel comfortable doing it over the internet, even to awful people.

    • Thank you for your comment.

      I can appreciate your point as I did with Danielle and hers. It seems to be a shared feeling from people and the biggest obstacle I will have to overcome to get the site going and part of what my next post is about. I hope you’ll take the time to read it. I would be interested to hear your comment on it.

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